What To Do When You're Feeling Blue - By Jacquie Hale

Everyone has an occasional time of feeling down. Some people may be
clinically depressed while others have bouts of feeling blue or times of low
energy. Regardless of the frequency or the cause, and whether or not you are
on medication, you can lift yourself out of the doldrums with a few
techniques. I suggest that those who encounter such distressed feelings have
a few of these antidotes ready for quick access.
Appreciate the Good StuffAcknowledging the good and beautiful in your life
is a great daily practice. Making a list of what you appreciate can lighten
your mood instantaneously. You can do it by yourself, or better yet, call a
friend and inspire each other. Make the sky your limit! Think of events in
history that have inspired you or people who have made you thankful just to
have known them. Appreciate the person who cuts your hair exactly as you
like, the school crossing guard who volunteers even during a torrential
downpour, politicians whose values match yours, your boss, your spouse, your
kids, your co-workers, and don't forget--appreciate yourself for all the
things you accomplish!

Eliminate the NegativeIn the short run, you can turn off news and TV
programs that cause you distress and even stop reading the newspaper. Fill
the space you create with media that is uplifting.

If your discouraged moods are significant or frequent, it might serve you to
stop interacting with negative people. This may require a big effort and
great ingenuity on your part. It may be that ultimately you would be doing
yourself and the other people a favor by being truthful. You might say, "I'm
having trouble keeping a positive outlook these days, and when you are
always finding fault people, I start to feel down. So, I'm going to skip our
weekly coffee klatch for a while."

If the weather or the short days are bringing you down, try to block the
outside views and fill your space with as much light as possible. You might
even get full spectrum light bulbs for your living and work space where you
spend the most significant part of your day.

Distract YourselfWhen you find yourself in the downward spiral of negative
self talk, do something startling such as splashing cold water in your face
or slamming your hand on a table and declaring, "Stop!" Other activities
might include percussive activities like hoeing in the garden, chopping
wood, jumping rope, or simply stomping around.

A fine way to distract yourself is to put on some favorite music and dance
for a while. Some people find great release in planning and cooking a meal,
baking cookies, or putting up a batch of jam. Others get lost in a
complicated puzzle or computer problem. Keep a list activities you enjoy so
that all you have to do is look at the list for a distraction when you're
dragging along so low that ideas are hard to come by.

Have a ready library of uplifting media. This might include favorite movies,
TV programs, music, poetry, or books. I often suggest that clients create
fantasies that put their minds and hearts in a more favorable frame. You
might remember a particularly wonderful event or create one in your mind.
This kind of virtual vacation can brighten a very dull day.

ExerciseYou don't have to run marathons to get the positive effects of
exercise, you can feel revived and uplifted with as little as 20 minutes of
brisk walking. Better yet, you can combine two of these techniques at once
by putting on music you like and dancing.

Be of ServiceNothing takes you out of the blues as much as helping someone
else. On the spur of the moment, you might call a neighbor and offer to take
her kids to a movie or do the grocery shopping. You could cook dinner for a
friend or take dessert to a colleague. For more extensive service, you could
volunteer to work at a soup kitchen or deliver Meals on Wheels. One of my
friends feeds babies at the local Children's Hospital and another tutors
illiterate adults. I organize the volunteers for a local music group. That
way, I get to hang out with the musicians and go to their concerts. Pick
some service that interests you and it's likely to make you happy, even if
you have to drag yourself out the door to do it.

Communicate AppropriatelyIf you notice that you have suddenly found yourself
feeling grumpy or inexplicably down, review what was going on in the few
hours prior to the feeling descending on you. You may find that you had a
conversation that left you feeling unsettled. It might be that you didn't
say what you meant to say or you withheld the truth of how you felt.
Sometimes it might be that you didn't set good boundaries and you need to
speak up.

This is not an easy thing to do. It takes finesse to tell the truth in a way
that doesn't make the other person wrong. The best way to do this is to make
"I" statements. Talk about how you feel, not about what the other person is
doing. You can't say, "I feel you are a jerk!" because the jerkish person
will simply get defensive. In this case, you could say, "When you act like
that, I am afraid someone is going to get mad and start a fight with you."
Another common boundary-setting statement is, "When you act like that, I
feel that you don't like me or you are angry with me."

Challenge Negative ThoughtsIf you have an Inner Critic that is giving you
grief, start making a list of all the things this critic says about you.
Then look at each statement and ask these questions:

. Is this true?

. How do I know it is true?

. How do I act because I believe this is true?

. How would I act if I didn't believe this was true?

Have a BuddyIt's wonderful to have someone who will support you when you are
feeling down. You can discuss the ideas you develop from this article and
enlist a friend to help you engage in the some of the uplifting activities.

You are ultimately responsible for your own happiness. Actually, no one
knows better than you what satisfies you or makes you happy. You can help
yourself far more than you think by being proactive. Some day when you are
feeling particularly good, go through this list and create your own Antidote
for the Blues Kit